Welcome Cruising fans! It’s time that we talk about the elephant in the room, or should I say, Penguin in the room. Since I first started cruising, the cruising industry has grown tremendously. From the size of the ships we cruise on to the amenities on board, the cruising industry has taken vacationing to unFATHOMable territories.
That being said, with all the strides the cruising industry has taken, why, oh why, are there still formal nights? Yes, I understand some of you like to get all dressed up and show all of us “little people” on YOUR ship how important you are, but let’s be honest folks, when the “little people” are staring at you, it’s not because they are envious of your attire, they’re staring at because they can’t believe you carried all that extra crap on a 5 day cruise, for one night.
Before you get all huffy and puffy, please, give me a chance to get you REALLY upset.
Here are my top 9 reasons why we need to be done with formal night. Why 9? Because I just ate dinner and I don’t want to ruin my Mulligatawny.
9. All That Luggage: Seriously, how much extra did you get charged by the airlines carrying all that extra luggage. When I cruise, I have one bag and one of pair of shoes. That’s how real travelers do cruising.
8. Sequence / Sequins gives me migraines: I’ve come to realize that it’s not the open seas that gets me nauseous, it’s all the damn sequence from the dresses glaring in my eyes. I now know that I have to double up on the Dramamine, on formal night.
7. All the Perfume and Cologne: I understand not wanting to stink on your promenade to dinner, but some of you guys and gals smell like you took a dip in the White Diamond’s Ocean or the Gulf of Aqua Velva. Dial it back folks.
6. Prom at Sea: Your High School days are over, everyone. It’s fine to get together with the old gang from time to time and talk about how awesome everyone thought you were at that particular sport you could’ve gone pro in if it weren’t for your bumb knee. However, like your pro athlete chances, the days of being Mr. Popular are over. Let’s face it, if you’re wearing a tux at sea, I bet you’re not sitting at the cool kids table.
5. Oversized Ego: The way some walk and strut, I swear your ego is as big as the Symphony of the Seas.
4. Dancing is Stupid: I don’t know why I included this on this list, but it always seems like there’s much more dancing on formal night. Just know while you’re taking your dance lessons in the Scooner Bar Lounge, learning the Jitterbug, I’ll be actually enjoying my vacation, sipping the “drink of the day” pool side.
3. Tripping over Photo Backdrops: Talk about a waste of time and money. You all line up doing your best “March of the Penguin’s” impression, just to spend $80.00 on a picture that you’ll just send to all of your friends and family, who are just going to throw it in the garbage…..while laughing at you.
2. Get off my lawn: Please, take your time while you make your way to dinner. With your fancy high heels and Wingtip shoes, us average folk don’t mind at all that you’re tap dancing around gushing at your dribble.
“Just keep it movin Francine.”
1. Waste of Money: Hey, it’s your money and you can spend it any way you’d like, but let’s do some fun math just to show you how much coin is wasted on this ridiculousness. I know some of you own tux or a dress, but for this example I’m going to assume that you live in the real world.
Tuxedo rental = $150
Dress = $150
Cruise Spa Day (cause you have to look nice!) = $100
Pictures = $80
Dry Cleaning = $75
As you can see, you’ve wasted over $500.00 on a night that mostly everyone will forget including yourself.
That’s all I got to say about this topic. I’m the Cranky Cruiser, if you don’t like it…….. I don’t care.
Please share in the comments below. Check out other posts about cruising – 20 Unexpected Costs of Cruising, 10 Best Reason to Cruise, 5 Tips to Consider before Cruising, 10 Tips to Save Money on Your Next Cruise, and Family Cruising: Fact vs Fiction, Top 5 Places Better Than the Caribbean, and 8 Reason to Cruise with Kids